The scary reality about what’s hurting our children


Up to now week, I’ve learn a number of research which can be scary to me… it’s the scary reality about what’s hurting our children.   Everyone knows that what our children hear turns into their internal voice, but it surely’s onerous to management what they hear from others, isn’t it?

The scary truth about what's hurting our kids
CNN just lately interviewed Dr. Jean Twenge, creator of iGen and her interview anxious me – as a result of I noticed the reality that I might be dealing with in just some brief years as my oldest son would enter highschool and I might be parenting teenagers and elementary ages children too.   Dr. Twenge began doing analysis 25 years in the past on generational variations, however when 2011 -2012 hit, she noticed one thing that might scare her to the core.   That is the 12 months when everybody had video video games and people having iPhones went over the 50% mark.

Take into consideration what that basically means:  it was when individuals started to have entry to the digital world.  Social media took off, sending movies & pictures elevated (together with emotions of being ignored).  The road that separated our dwelling lives from our faculty/work & social lives turned very blurred.

The outcomes of that confirmed teen conduct that ought to scare all of us.

  • This was the 12 months that extra children began to say that they felt “sad, hopeless, useless… that they couldn’t do anything right (depression).”
  • That they had frequent temper swings.
  • They felt left-out and lonely.
  • The despair charge is rising even sooner amongst millennials (up 47 %) and adolescents (up 47 % for boys and up 65 % for ladies. (supply: BCBS report)
  • Despair Diagnoses of main despair are rising quickest amongst these below age 35.
  • Despair Diagnoses have elevated 47% since 2013 amongst millennials (ages 18–34).”
  • A considerable improve in suicide charge.

Earlier than I offer you any extra information, I need you to take a look at these graphs of what might be thought of unfavourable behaviors and have a look at how the data correlates to the iPhones being launched.

They aren’t hanging out with buddies practically as a lot.

A close up of a graph.

They aren’t courting as a lot of their teen years.scary truth about what's hurting our kids

Extra prone to really feel lonely of their teen years.A screenshot of a graph.

They’re getting much less sleep.
scary truth about what's hurting our kids

She goes on to say that we’re within the worst psychological well being disaster in many years.   You will get her e-book, iGen, with my Amazon affiliate hyperlink right here, to learn the remainder of her findings.

Why is that this occurring?  Why are children extra depressed due to electronics?
Take into consideration after we have been at school – we didn’t know each time that there was a get-together that we weren’t invited to and we didn’t see footage of every outing, sport, or celebration.

We didn’t care what we appeared like after we have been hanging out with buddies in my teenage years, as a result of we have been the one ones that have been there- I can bear in mind sitting round with my finest buddies in our sweatpants, simply laughing – I didn’t put on make-up or care if I had my hair fastened good, as a result of the fear of a cellphone or digital camera wasn’t there.

Take into consideration bullies.

After we left faculty, we left them. If teasing occurred, it didn’t occur at dwelling.  It didn’t occur so publicly. Everybody couldn’t see it or know what they have been teasing different children about since they weren’t there.  

Now, it’s all public information, and our children’ peer group can take part or watch. It’s horrifying.

I can’t think about being a tween or teenager now.  Though- because the dad and mom of kids, we now have to consider it, as a result of we now have to assist our kids navigate it. And the dad and mom and teenage relationship is far more tough. It’s onerous to be a job mannequin and encourage your teen when you’ve gotten issue relating, and elevating teenage girls and boys nicely has by no means been necessary.

the scary truth hurting our children

In response to Victoria Prooday, Occupational Therapist & author at, “There’s a silent tragedy growing proper now, in our houses, and it considerations our most treasured jewels – our kids… Researchers have been releasing alarming statistics on a pointy and regular improve in children’ psychological sickness, which is now reaching epidemic proportions:

She goes on to say that “At this time’s kids are being disadvantaged of the basics of a wholesome childhood:

  • Emotionally accessible dad and mom that keep linked
  • Conversations that included eye contact
  • Clearly outlined limits and steering
  • Duties
  • Balanced vitamin and ample sleep
  • Motion and open air
  • Artistic play, social interplay, alternatives for unstructured instances and tedium

As an alternative, kids are being served with:

  • Digitally distracted dad and mom
  • Indulgent dad and mom who let their teenage little kids “Rule the world”
  • A way of entitlement reasonably than accountability
  • Insufficient sleep and unbalanced vitamin
  • Sedentary indoor way of life
  • Simpler entry to medication and alcohol that may result in substance abuse
  • Limitless stimulation, technological babysitters, immediate gratification, and absence of lifeless moments”
    How true… and the way unhappy.

You possibly can learn the remainder of her story and extra at

I couldn’t agree extra.  In response to, “Despite the rise in teen depression, the study, which analyzed data from the National Surveys on Drug Use and Health, reported that there wasn’t a corresponding increase in mental health treatment for adolescents and young adults. Researchers said this is an indication that there is a growing number of young people who are under-treated or not treated at all for their symptoms.”

The article goes on to say that it’s not simply how our teenagers behave and really feel, it’s younger children – in elementary faculty.  Faculty Counselors like Ellen Probability in Palm Seashore say they see proof that expertise and on-line bullying are affecting children’ psychological well being as younger as fifth grade, notably women.

“I couldn’t tell you how many students are being malicious to each other over Instagram. “I’ve had cases where girls don’t come to school, and they are cutting themselves and becoming severely depressed because they feel outcasted and targeted.” She says she now sees reducing incidents just about weekly at her elementary faculty, and whereas they fluctuate in severity, it’s a sign that not all is true.”

A group of kids looking at their phones.

What can we do about it?

1. Swap Chores for Screentime

Duties improve their self-worth.   Instance: in the event you don’t set the desk, we are able to’t eat.  If you happen to don’t wash your garments, you’ll have nothing to put on tomorrow:

“To develop a high self-esteem a person needs a purpose. A key component to high self-esteem relies on how you view yourself regarding contribution. In other words, in the child development process, chores are a big role in a kid’s self-esteem.” ~Affect Parenting.

 Swap Chores for Display Time.  In the event that they need to have display screen time, they should pitch in first.  

They should be taught that work comes earlier than play.   This can drastically in the reduction of on their digital time with none nagging or yelling from you. You should buy the playing cards right here. 

Cards to swap chores for screen time by yourmodernfamily

2. The AAP now suggests screening all kids for despair beginning at age 11.

3. Get again to what we did earlier than telephones (again to what our dad and mom did after we have been younger)… spend time taking part in video games with our children.

4. Spend dinnertime speaking.

5. Drop every part that you’re doing when your children get dwelling from faculty to TALK to them.

6. Make dinner with out having the TV on, the cellphone shut by, or the pill tuned into one thing.

7. Use any ‘car time’ to speak to our children (possibly even by not permitting electronics within the automobile)

8. Make sure that your youngster is getting sufficient hours of sleep.   It is a substantial contributing issue.  

9. Don’t hold loads of junk meals in the home.  Restrict junk meals & change it with fruits & greens.  In case your youngster is choosy, they will definitely discover a fruit or vegetable that they like.  (I’ve taught our children to make smoothies, too, however they’ve to scrub up after themselves, or they lose the privilege of utilizing the blender… they LOVE to make them, so it is a consequence that they won’t need to be positioned on them).

Be part of the one-on-one time problem (30 days) for FREE. 

A close up of a calendar on a white background.

11. Have a no-tech week and inform your children to “go play!”   Don’t really feel the necessity to at all times play with them.  My job, as a play therapist, is to show dad and mom methods to play with their children to assist them, so whereas I at all times assume that taking part in together with your children is a good suggestion, however I additionally need them to play alone.  I need them to learn to hold themselves entertained.

12. From the time that our children have been very younger, I gave them time to entertain themselves, and now they can discover methods to maintain themselves busy (drawing, taking part in, constructing, and so on..)

13.  Don’t rescue your children. Right here’s a current instance that occurred in our home:
I’ve began having our children pack their lunches (with my supervision), however yesterday one in every of our sons determined to attend.. .and wait… and wait.  When it was right down to 10 minutes earlier than leaving, he requested me to pack it.  

I mentioned no, and he then requested for lunch cash.  

I mentioned, “I think it’s upstairs in your piggy bank if you have some in there.” His face mentioned all of it.   I wasn’t going to purchase him out of this.  It was his accountability.

It’s NEVER simple to show our children these classes, however they serve our children nicely. He shortly made himself lunch and was on his means. He discovered a helpful life lesson about making ready himself for the day.

14.  Speak to your children about why they should come to you if one thing is incorrect.  I speak to our children about all of this, they usually know that I might do something to assist them.   I say it each day… “If you are ever feeling sad or left out about something and it becomes too big for you to handle easily, come to me.”

Sure, it’s quite a bit to inform them, however it’s the reality.  I want them to realize it.  It’s not a joking matter, and it’s not one to take calmly. Speak to your children TODAY.

15. Make a rule with your self that you’ll restrict YOUR on-line distractions when your children are dwelling. Set a time that you could put electronics away… for instance: Make 3:30-9:00 a no-tech time for you, the guardian.   (or no matter hours your children are dwelling). It won’t solely profit your children, however it is going to aid you, too.

Sure, it’s the scary reality about what’s hurting our children, however we now have the ability to assist.

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Chores for display screen time: 
Cards to swap chores for screen time by yourmodernfamily


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